"What would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the LIVING. Wait, hope for and EXPECT the Lord. Be strong and of good courage and may your heart (Ned) be sturdy and enduring.....Yes, Wait For and Hope For and Expect the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14 (Amp)

Friday, February 1, 2008

Leaning on the Promises

It has definitely been a rocky couple of days for our little Ned. Since his heart cath, he has had a difficult time recouperating. When Travis and I got to the hospital this morning, Ned's blood pressure was low, he wasn't passing liquids through his system which you could easily see by looking at him (he is really swollen) and he is having a difficult time getting oxygenated blood flow to the lower extremities of his body. The doctors believe all of this is probably due to his already problematic heart reacting to having the catheter and dye injected yesterday; however, they are running a gamut of tests at the moment to rule out any other lingering problem that may be causing his downhill slide. Ned also developed a fever last night which makes them think he is fighting some infection. They started him on several antibiotics to go ahead and assist with fighting it off until his blood cultures come back and they can identify the exact bacteria. I had planned on going home this weekend to spend time with Jack and Margaret, but the doctors felt that due to Ned's condition becoming more and more critical, it would be best if I stayed until his stats could be leveled out. Today has been extremely frightening and overwhelming. It is so heart breaking to watch your little one lie there while they add medication after medicaiton to attempt to stabilize him. Our nurse said that Ned had won the contest in the PICU today for the most medication drips! They also put Ned on a paralytic drug this afternoon whic paralyzes him for the purpose of preventing him from fighting the new jet vent. While this drug prevents him from moving, it doesn't prevent him from feeling pain, so they have to watch his stats carefully now to look for signs of discomfort as he won't be able to tell them from any action of his own. It was really difficult for me to think that with all he had going on with his stats today, that some of it could be indicative of pain and we really couldn't know for sure!

On this very uncertain and unsettling day, it is best for me to dwell on God's promises and to reflect on faithfulness to me in the past. I am thankful that Ned was able to breath on his own at birth, thankful that he sailed through his hernia repair surgery, thankful that he responds to the sound of my voice and seems to be aware that his Mommy is there and loves him, thankful that we were blessed enough to have foreknowledge of some of his complications so we could be in a facility with wonderful medical care, thankful that God spent years preparing Travis and I for this journey by bringing us deeper into a daily walk with Him so that we would know His word and be able to trust in it during this time, thankful that we are able to have children, thankful that I have been blessed with a Godly husband and thankful that God does not forsake me nor leave me.

I have received so many scriptures that have lifted and carried me through some of my darker days. I received one in the mail from our Bible teacher just yesterday (how perfect is God's timing). I have taped it to Ned's bed and I pray it over him all day long :

Psalm 127:13-14

13 What, what would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the LIVING!

14Wait and hope for and EXPECT the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your (Ned's) heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and EXPECT the Lord.

Please continue to pray for little Ned's healing. I sense such a special nature in his sweet spirit. While I long for the day when I can hold him and calm his fears and pains, at this time, I must be willing and content to allow him to continue to rest in the arms of the Lord. I believe that God will allow me to raise and be a mother to Ned, but my time for that has not yet come. But I will continue to go boldly before the throne and make my requests to him and believing that my God will answer me.

One more verse for Ned: (Luke 1:66,80)

66And all who heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, Whatever will this little boy be then? For the hand of the Lord was so evidently with him protecting and aiding him.

And the little boy grew and became strong in spirit;

Thank you all for your faithful prayers for my baby!

Betsy, Travis, Jack & Ned


sherry hefner said...

Betsy and Travis....thank you so much for these updates. They allow us to know how to pray for Ned and for your family. I'm sorry that today has been more difficult and I know it is dissappointing that you (Betsy) can't return home for a quick weekend with Jack and Margaret.
But you have such a wonderful Saviour who has blessed you with lots of faith and courage and we can read that each time you send us these messages.
I am like you....Scriptures sent by others seems always to come directly from God to me during times of hurt or pain. I am so thankful that His Word has such an accurate and tender touch.
I loved your list of "thankful things," and it encouraged me to think of all the things God has done for me.
Once, during some tough times, I found myself unbelievably overwhelmed with life (primarily parenting, which is a big challenge --and blessing). It became tough for me to fully trust in God. I felt God tell me to recall what I "know" about Him and His nature. I began to write down a list about what I know about God's character....wow! That list goes on and on. It was such an encouragement to me and took my mind off things that defeated me.

Please know that we are praying...our whole family, for you both and Jack, Ned and your extended family.
Love, Sherry
my e-mail should you need it:

Summer said...

Travis & Betsy,
I just read today's entry and I'm crying for you because I can feel your pain and truly cannot know what you are going through. David and I are praying for you. Your strength and faith are a blessing to everyone who reads your entries. Continue to be strong and know that everyone is thinking about you and praying for you. Everyday at work someone who hasn't checked the website asks about Ned and you. You are constantly in their thoughts and prayers too. Love, David & Summer

Cadenne Hope's Grandma said...

Dear Betsy,

Thank you for your honest posts. We, like you, have been so strengthened by God's word these past many weeks with Cadenne Hope's recovery.

I absolutely LOVE your paragraph about all the things that you are thankful for. I truly believe (Philippians 4:6-7) that the road to peace lies in thankfulness.

I think when we are thankful, we then begin to see God's faithful hand in our lives and the lives of those we love and it gives us courage to believe that if he was faithful before, he will be faithful again. Kind of like the children of Israel in Joshua 4:1-7 where God told them to build a memorial so that they would remember what he had done for them.

Please know that I am praying for you and little Ned!

Cadenne Hope's Grandma

Tricia said...

Betsy, you have MANY people standing with you in prayer. It is so difficult to feel so helpless, but having felt it, I truly believe that in us being helpless...being able to do absolutely NOTHING to "fix" the situation except pray...that God has more room to work. It also makes sure that we give ALL the glory where it deserves.

I wish I could sit with you at the hospital. Just know, as I said above, that you have many, many people praying for you.


Amy AKA "Baba" said...

I am thinking of you, your family and Ned and praying for you. We had a rough couple of days where I sat grasping the chair and praying I would not lose my little girl. While I had been told that things could get difficult I never knew how difficult until it was actually happening. I pray that Ned begins on the upswing and can be well soon and snuggled into momma's arms.