I have returned to Chapel Hill after a wonderful day trip to Cherryville to see the family. I have never been so thankful to be at home in my entire life! I had a wonderful day with Jack and Margaret, and a really difficult time leaving again this morning. I got to sleep with each of them for one night and I was so reminded of the wonderful blessings God has already given me. I woke up often in the night and just thanked the Lord for the opportunity to be there loving on my babes and I'm just so looking forward to when little Ned can be curled up in there with us! Jack was completely full of himself, as usual! He kept thanking me for the UNC football uniform and telling me how much he missed and loved me. He also woke up about 3am Saturday night telling me that he needed a piano and a tuba to go along with his drums and guitar? I told him I wasn't sure that we could find a child's tuba anywhere, but I'd be on the lookout. Margaret took me on a grand tour of the new WalMart.....she is completely taken with having one so close. She caught me up on everything that was going on at school and in her world. I feel like I've missed so much, but she filled me with info for hours on Saturday night while we ran some errands.
Little Ned is pretty much the same....he has remained stable, and they haven't attempted to wean him off of any of his many medications or the jet vent. He received some blood this afternoon which made a huge difference in his color and blood pressures. The cardiac surgeon came by this afternoon. I asked him for clarification regarding the statistics he had given me earlier regarding the risk of Ned's heart surgery. He basically told me that Ned's procedure, given his condition, would have about a 20%-25% mortality risk. Something about hearing the potential for death for my 14-day-old son caused me some anxiety this afternoon, but when I remembered that they had also told me that he had a 40% chance of survival after diagnosing his CDH, I decided to put him back in God's hands where he has been so well taken care of so far. His surgery has been postponed until at least Thursday. They are working on getting Ned's swelling down in a slow and steady manner; then, they will start weaning him off the jet vent.
When I left the hospital on Saturday, before going home, I felt like that voice of accusation was in my ear again taunting me about the power of prayer.....like, some people get well and they never pray....do you think your prayers make a difference in Ned's condition? But before I could clearly respond, the Lord said to me, "Betsy, don't let these fears consume you because this battle is already won." The truth is that I believe I follow and put my trust in a soverign God. He does what his best for his children, all of his children. I can't begin to understand all His ways, nor will I question them. I'm not sure how He works all the time, but I'm certain that He always works and He always works for good. I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I hadn't placed my son in His care and if I and so many others weren't praying for Ned, I would have missed such blessing in my life. I would have missed an opportunity to see God as very near and real in my life. I have learned so much through my son's very short existance and I can only hope that in the rest of my life, I can allow my presence here on this Earth to make the impact for Christ that Ned has made in two weeks.
I am also asking everyone to pray for Dr. Bob Stewert. I believe he is the heart surgeon who will be performing Ned's heart repair. He is very established doctor and we are fortunate to receive his care, but there is something a bit distant about him. Neither Travis or I could exactly place what it was, but we just feel like he may be in need of some prayer right now?
Thank you all for your continued support and prayer!!!! Much love to you all!
Betsy, Travis, Jack & Ned