"What would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the LIVING. Wait, hope for and EXPECT the Lord. Be strong and of good courage and may your heart (Ned) be sturdy and enduring.....Yes, Wait For and Hope For and Expect the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14 (Amp)

Monday, February 4, 2008

Just a Waiting Game

I have returned to Chapel Hill after a wonderful day trip to Cherryville to see the family. I have never been so thankful to be at home in my entire life! I had a wonderful day with Jack and Margaret, and a really difficult time leaving again this morning. I got to sleep with each of them for one night and I was so reminded of the wonderful blessings God has already given me. I woke up often in the night and just thanked the Lord for the opportunity to be there loving on my babes and I'm just so looking forward to when little Ned can be curled up in there with us! Jack was completely full of himself, as usual! He kept thanking me for the UNC football uniform and telling me how much he missed and loved me. He also woke up about 3am Saturday night telling me that he needed a piano and a tuba to go along with his drums and guitar? I told him I wasn't sure that we could find a child's tuba anywhere, but I'd be on the lookout. Margaret took me on a grand tour of the new WalMart.....she is completely taken with having one so close. She caught me up on everything that was going on at school and in her world. I feel like I've missed so much, but she filled me with info for hours on Saturday night while we ran some errands.

Little Ned is pretty much the same....he has remained stable, and they haven't attempted to wean him off of any of his many medications or the jet vent. He received some blood this afternoon which made a huge difference in his color and blood pressures. The cardiac surgeon came by this afternoon. I asked him for clarification regarding the statistics he had given me earlier regarding the risk of Ned's heart surgery. He basically told me that Ned's procedure, given his condition, would have about a 20%-25% mortality risk. Something about hearing the potential for death for my 14-day-old son caused me some anxiety this afternoon, but when I remembered that they had also told me that he had a 40% chance of survival after diagnosing his CDH, I decided to put him back in God's hands where he has been so well taken care of so far. His surgery has been postponed until at least Thursday. They are working on getting Ned's swelling down in a slow and steady manner; then, they will start weaning him off the jet vent.

When I left the hospital on Saturday, before going home, I felt like that voice of accusation was in my ear again taunting me about the power of prayer.....like, some people get well and they never pray....do you think your prayers make a difference in Ned's condition? But before I could clearly respond, the Lord said to me, "Betsy, don't let these fears consume you because this battle is already won." The truth is that I believe I follow and put my trust in a soverign God. He does what his best for his children, all of his children. I can't begin to understand all His ways, nor will I question them. I'm not sure how He works all the time, but I'm certain that He always works and He always works for good. I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I hadn't placed my son in His care and if I and so many others weren't praying for Ned, I would have missed such blessing in my life. I would have missed an opportunity to see God as very near and real in my life. I have learned so much through my son's very short existance and I can only hope that in the rest of my life, I can allow my presence here on this Earth to make the impact for Christ that Ned has made in two weeks.

I am also asking everyone to pray for Dr. Bob Stewert. I believe he is the heart surgeon who will be performing Ned's heart repair. He is very established doctor and we are fortunate to receive his care, but there is something a bit distant about him. Neither Travis or I could exactly place what it was, but we just feel like he may be in need of some prayer right now?

Thank you all for your continued support and prayer!!!! Much love to you all!

Betsy, Travis, Jack & Ned


nurseg said...

Betsy, I'm sure you already have this scripture verse in the list of promises from the Lord, but I wanted to share it with you again. He says,"Fear not for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous hand. Isaiah 41:10.
I have been trying to blog for days, however the Devil has been on my back and has constantly interuppted me when looking up scripture to share and writing my blog to you. You have been a source of inspiration to me as I have read your updates on Ned and seeing how God is working in your family. I can hardly wait from one blog to another to see what God has done that day. Praise Him! Praise Him!
I am thrilled that you had some precious time with Jack and Margaret and that Ned was stable. It was wonderful to know that he and Travis had some "guy time" and that they are both Duke fans. It's those times that we cherish in our hearts and can look back as real blessings. I will be viligent in my prayers for you, Travis and Ned this week as Ned's heart surgery draws near. I will also lift up Dr. Stewert. We sometimes don't know how to pray but God knows what needs we have.
Thanks again for your blogs, and your transparency that you have in them. When we know what to prayer for we can really concentrate on that need right then and lift it up.
In my thoughts and prayers, Krista

Jennifer Smith said...

Please don't let Jack become a UNC fan, please please please... and take that mess off of him!!! You were in my prayers before but now I'm going to have to pray harder after reading that Jack was sporting a UNC uniform.

Cherryville Roadrunners said...

I just heard of Ned's situation last night when Chastity came over to the house and told me about his birth and pretty much got me up-to-date. I congratulate you on Ned's birth and am praying for your family. I read every blog entry last night and as a Mother, I totally applaud you for your strength thus far. I can not imagine the joy you and Travis felt when you heard Ned cry after his birth. Little blessings have continued to shower you.
I also respect your honesty about your spiritual weaknesses you have encountered during this experience. Do not feel alone or ashamed. As Christians, we all experience weakness and are tested, having temptations and being fearful of our own decisions. God understands us, loves us, and never turns away from us. Psychologically, we need confirmation that what we believe in is true. Just ONE other person can give us all the confirmation we need...that is God. He knows our hearts and HE is who each of us must answer to on Judgement Day. You are a TRUE child of God and a very strong Christian. "O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me" PSALM 25:2...
Betsy, you are a wonderful, strong, Christian Mother and you have been blessed with a wonderful family and numerous amount of friends. The POWER OF PRAYER IS ALL AROUND YOU. You are not alone during this dark encounter. I praise you for your strength and continued optimism for God is with you and will continue to hold your hand.
I am sure Jack was so excited to see you this weekend as was Margaret and the rest of your family and friends. Jack is blessed to have you and Travis and a solid rock to stand on at home.
I will continue to pray for little Ned, Jack, Travis and you.
Hopefully by Thursday, Ned's swelling will have gone down even more and he will be even more stablized for his upcoming heart surgery. I will also pray for your heart surgeon, per your request, though I'm sure God appointed him to you for a reason. Little Ned is a 'fighter' so I trust in God to enable him to win this fight. One more verse I read which reminded me of your strength as a mother, wife and woman..."Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
In our hearts and praying for you,

K said...

Betsy and Travis,
So good to talk to and/or see you this past weekend. The biggest blessing however, was to see my "great" nephew Ned! Wow... I was a bit overwhelmed with the extensive amount of machines and other medical equipment, but it was so comforting for Travis to remind me that each one had it's own special purpose! Isn't that how life is... God creates us all and gives us our OWN SPECIAL PURPOSE IN LIFE! We love you all and continue to lift you up in prayer daily.
Kim, Blair and Grant <><