"What would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the LIVING. Wait, hope for and EXPECT the Lord. Be strong and of good courage and may your heart (Ned) be sturdy and enduring.....Yes, Wait For and Hope For and Expect the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14 (Amp)

Friday, January 23, 2009

What a Difference a Year Makes!!

Who can believe that Ned turned a year old this week?  I have spent much time reflecting on his life and our journey this week.  While I often find myself frustrated with not being able to resolve Ned's GI issues, I am amazed at how far he has come.  I have read back over this blog around the time of his birth and in some ways, I vividly remember that life and being that person and in other ways, it seems like I'm reading about someone else's life?  Ned's life has not only deeped our faith he has strenghtened our character.  We have endured a process that has taught us patience and we have learned that joy is completely independent of of your situation at any given moment....the absence of hardships doesn't guarantee joy, nor does the presence of hardships squelch it.  Every day, I look at my family and my children and my heart is completely overwhelmed at the life God has granted to me.

I think often of how precious life is.  In the past year, I have gained a better understanding of what it is to receive eternal life and the life more abundant.  I used to believe those terms had different references, but now I understand that our eternal life starts NOW...it is the life more abundant.  For some reason, I used to related eternal life to the life in heaven after you die, but I now believe that Jesus meant for us to have that life beginning now.  It has been difficult for me to hang on to that life in the past year specifically since we brought Ned home from the hospital.  Once his medical care was completely my responsiblity, I had a hard time not attempting to control every detail and micro-managing his care.  It is a real effort for me to continually place his care and the feet of my Lord and allow him to completely restore Ned's body.  Until I read back the past week, I had practically forgotten that "complete restoration" was my original prayer.  I had come to a place of trusting God with the details and the timeframe, but continually praying for and believing in, complete restoration.  I am working myself back to that place of surrender with God.  Although Ned was a much sicker baby at that time, I lived in greater peace.

I don't have any birthday pictures as of yet.  My parents are out of town this week and since the grand parents are the only people invited to the party (to prevent germ exposure), we're delaying the party till they return.  Ned has no idea it is his birthday, nor does he eat cake, so we don't feel like there's any harm in delaying.

I'm not sure if I have mentioned it yet, but Ned is saying "mama" all the time now (Meanwhile, Jack, age 3, has started calling me Mom...like he's 15?)!!!  We can't get him to say anything else, but he has gotten some teeth so maybe that will help with his speech.  I though he would never get teeth, but a couple of weeks ago, he had four come in within a 3-day span of time.  It wasn't Ned's most pleasant week, but he looks so much older all the sudden.  He started to get the two outside upper teeth first and I was so afraid he was going to look like a vampire, but the center two popped right in there....thank goodness!  His pediatrician told me not to worry about the teeth being out of order, apparently Ned "didn't get the manual".  I assured Dr. Cerjan that Ned apparently missed manual distribution day, because he hasn't followed one protocol yet!

Other than the lingering GI issue, life is good and I'll post with some birthday party pictures once we have the little shin-dig!  Much love and many blessings!

Travis, Betsy, Jack and Ned