"What would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the LIVING. Wait, hope for and EXPECT the Lord. Be strong and of good courage and may your heart (Ned) be sturdy and enduring.....Yes, Wait For and Hope For and Expect the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14 (Amp)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Not Exactly Chrisftmas Eve!!

Although the correction of Ned's heart will be a huge blessing, it has been very difficult for me to approach tomorrow from a standpoint of anticipation. I would like to say that I am excited about getting through the heart repair, but the truth is that I am completely terrifed of the procedure. There are moments when I can come to a point of peace, but I can't stay there. I think it is because there are so many ups and downs and uncertainties right now that once I come to level ground, it is unexpectedly pulled out from under me again.

Today began on a great note. We met with the cardiac surgeon, Dr. Stewert, and he was walking us through the details of the surgery and giving us statistics on what we can expect for potential outcomes. I know many of you are wondering how those statistics play in Ned's favor, but I'm just not willing to put some of the potential poor outcomes into the air. The upshot is that it is most likely that he will return from surgery in much the same condition he is in currently with the state of his lungs and working through blood pressure issues. Then there are extreme cases from basically complete healing to some other really devastating outcomes. As we told Dr. Stewert today, we have spent too much of our time and energy caught up in the statistics we have been given regarding Ned's survival. We made the decision many months ago to ignore those statistics and BELIEVE that God was greater than that, that He was bigger than all of Ned's birth defects. We placed Ned in the hands of God and that is where he remains. It is difficult for me to leave him there. I want to be able to meet his needs, but I find myself at a place of completely inability.....as weak as I have ever felt. Almost too weak to lift up real and coherent prayers.

I don't know if it was because Ned's day wasn't all that great today or because I had the impending surgery looming over my head, but it was extremely difficult for me to leave his little bedside tonight. We had blood pressure issues all day, but seemed to have gotten the under control several hours before we left. Once that was cleared up, I was feeling pretty steady until our nurse told me that she hoped that Ned had a good night because they wanted me to be able to hold him in the morning prior to his surgery!?! While I have longed for and daydreamed about the moment I would first get to snuggle my sweet son in my arms, something about the urgency of needing to get that in prior to surgery has left me completely unnerved. I know it wasn't their intention at all, but I just felt like they were saying, "we want you to be able to hold your child before his surgery....it may be your only opportunity."

Ned will leave at 7:10 in the morning for his coarctation repair. The entire procedure should take 2-3 hours; however, the actual heart repair part shouldn't last more than 20 minutes. Please pray for little Ned tonight (if anyone is still up) and in the morning. I am just praying that God has already ordained and prepared this situation so that He can be glorified. I am praying for the doctors and nurses in his OR....that they will be given discernment by the Holy Spirit and that God will be in complete control of them as his surgery takes place. I am just praying the the power of God will be fully displayed tomorrow in the way we all respond during the surgery and the way Ned responds to the surgery. I am also praying that once we are past this, that I will always be aware of how God spared my sweet son and that it will motivate me to always be certain that I am teaching him how to live his life serving God. I have a much better understanding of how Hannah was able to pray to God that if she could only have a child, she would give him back to God. While, I don't have intentions of dropping Ned off at a temple, I do understand that Ned will have been saved for a purpose and that it is my repsonsiblity to ensure that he is groomed and prepared to meet his task.

Thank you all for all your prayers. Please keep them coming! Could you also pray for my friend Tricia today...her daughter, Cadenne, is linked on my blog. Tricia had a really difficult day in the hopsital. Cadenne is fine, but working your way through hospital changes can be really difficult on a mother and sometimes it is overwhelming when you can't mother your own child. She and her family have been extremely faithful to pray for us and I am asking that you lift her up on a day when she is struggling as well.

I love you all dearly!

Betsy, Travis, Jack & Ned


Anonymous said...

Hi, Betsy...I am indeed still up tonite and lifting up prayers for you, Travis and little Ned. Also praying for the Surgeon, nurses, and all others involved in the procedure in the morning.
I am so happy Ned will be snuggled in your arms in just a few hours. How wonderful and encouraging that will be for Ned...I know it will give him extra comfort and strength.
When you mentioned remembering all of these things in the future, it reminded me of one of my favorite stories in the OT. Do you remember the memorial stones? When you are able, read Joshua 3 and 4. In 4:6 "We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future, when your children ask, 'What do these stones mean?' Then you can tell them....'This is where the Israelites crossed over the Jordon on dry ground.'" The stones were a visible and lasting sign of God's faithfulness, and were meant for the children to learn about an important time that God provided a miracle.
Please know that my whole family (including all the girlfriends and boyfriends) are lifting you up to be blessed, strengthened and encouraged by Christ!
Keep us updated...so we can give God the glory! Love, Sherry

sherryhefner said...

Oops, don't mean to write again but forgot to add that I saw Jack this morning and what a cutie! Mark and Kelly were headed out to school and he was outside with your mom. He was waving to them with such wide sweeping motions, I had to laugh.
He is going to have a ball with Ned! Sherry

Anonymous said...

I'm still up and praying for Ned and your friend Tricia.

Nancy said...

Betsy, Travis & Ned,
Praying, Praying, Praying
You will be in my thoughts and prayers all day as you have been for the past weeks.

Hope said...

Baby Ned has been and still is in my prayers during this surgery.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and your family this morning. Praying for healing and comfort. Keep Believing.
Callie Clark Billings

Anonymous said...

Travis and Betsy,

Mary Elisabeth and I have said several prayers for all of you. However, I wanted to share one of the sweetest and most simple stories that showed me that God is present all the time. While riding in the car with Mary Elisabeth, I was trying to explain where the heart was and how important it was to the rest of the body. After several attempts, I finally asked her, "do you see why we would do everything to protect it?" Her reply was, "Yes, because that is where God lives." Never once did I use God in my explanation, I was trying to be too scientific. However, she knew what was the most important reason. God lives in your hearts. Most importantly he lives in Ned's. He is with him now in that OR. He will continue to be with him because you have already shown him how to live for God. We love you and look forward to the next step in your journey.

Anonymous said...

All of you are feverishly in our prayers! God be with you all!
J Wofford

mark goodwin said...

I woke up around 2am praying for you two and Ned. We know God is in
complete control and may he bring a peace to you both knowing that He
is right there beside you.

Tammy said...

Know that we are lifting you, the Dr's, nurses, Ned, and all involved this morning up in prayer. I truly hope you feel God's loving presence this a.m. and all the prayers being lifted today. We love you! Tammy, Randy & Colby

K said...

Betsy and Travis,

Praying for God's peace for the two of you, and for God's perfect touch upon the medical staff right now... We love you!
Kim, Blair and Grant <><

Anonymous said...

Travis and Betsy,
We are lifting you up in prayer this morning as we have been every day. Thank you for the blessing this blog has been in our lives. May the Lord's peace and healing be with you, Ned, and your entire family today and always.
Craig, Kim, and Parker Vandenberg

Anonymous said...

Travis, Betsy, Jack and Ned,

I have been praying contiuously for all of you since I read your blog this morning. I pray that the Lord will comfort you and Travis and has brought you peace throughout the waiting this morning. I know that God is with Ned and has not left him since the second he was born. He WILL continue to heal his body. I am so thankful that I have been able to witness the many miracles He has already performed through Ned and I can't wait to see even more!
Love you,

Anonymous said...

I love y'all so much, and i cannot wait to come up there and see Ned! Love you!

Anonymous said...

Dear Betsy and Travis,
We prayed for you this morning, as we have been doing for weeks.We prayed for the nurses, doctors and all envolved in the surgery. We especially lift you, as parents, up and your continued strength. Your blog of this journey has been a true testimony of your faith and the parents you will be to sweet baby Ned.
We will continue to pray throughout the day! As you have said, we will wait,hope and EXPECT the Lord!
With love,
Donna, Jeremy, Garrett, and Taylor Jackson

Anonymous said...

Betsy and Travis,

I am still praying for you all continuously. I hope you don't mind but I added you all to AGBC prayer list. I love you all dearly and you are will be in my thoughts.
Natasha Alexander