"What would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the LIVING. Wait, hope for and EXPECT the Lord. Be strong and of good courage and may your heart (Ned) be sturdy and enduring.....Yes, Wait For and Hope For and Expect the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14 (Amp)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Little delays

We have had some problems today that prevented Ned from being weaned from the vent and it may extend extubation for several days. Since birth, Ned has been on a healthy, continuous dose of morphine. In order to leave the intensive care unit, Ned has to be off the vent and off the narcotics drips. They have been slowing reducing the morphine over the past week, but apparently we hit his threshold today because he was completely unable to endure that last reduction. As a result, he has had several withdrawal attacks today: shaking, sweating, and rapid heart rate.....just pitifully agitated and mad! So the game plan is to give him two other narcotics, which are administered orally, in pretty high doses. Once his body has become addicted to those drugs, we'll slowly try to pull the morphine away assuming he won't notice as much or that we can reduce his withdrawal symptoms by pumping him up on the other medications? I know it doesn't sound like a very ethical plan, but, we can take the oral medications home with us and wean him off over a much longer time frame. Anytime they say it's something we can do at home, I jump all over it. Please keep little Ned in your prayers tonight, it is very difficult to see such a small child going through drug withdrawal. My main source of solace is that he won't ever remember this....just I will!!

I have known many people recently to be experiencing addictions or family members with addicitons. As I watched Ned today, I thought that addicitons really disrupt everything. They disrupted the only plan of a 1 month-old baby and they disrupt families, careers, dreams, hopes, friendships...they ruin lives. And while it is so easy to blame the addict, as I watched Ned today, he had lost complete control to the morphine. His body wanted something it doesn't need so badly it was almost as if it spoke for itself. While Ned's drug use wasn't a choice he made of his own accord, I just think once you've become addicted, how you got there means very little, but realizing how far you've got to go to get clean appears as a long road often paved with guilt. My heart hurts for those whose lives have been completely disrupted by addictions. I've always wished there was an easier way for people to clean up, but since they aren't offering any great solutions for my infant, I think this is it.

That's all for tonight....basically just a very tired rant on addiction as it has been on my mind all day- my thoughts were probably much more clear and concise before midnight came and went! I'm just loving and praying for my little addict tonight.....I hoping this will be the last time he ever experiments with drugs!


Cadenne Hope's Grandma said...

Tricia watched Cadenne go through the exact same withdrawals, and it was painful to watch. I pray that they do something that relieves his discomfort. I know Jesus is holding him even in the midst of all of this.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that we've actually met - but I wanted you to know that my husband and I have been praying for little Ned. Reading your blog has been very encouraging. It is amazing to see how God has been at work in your life and in Ned's life as well. What a testimony! Our daughter was born about 10 days after Ned and we can't wait until the day that they are in the nursery at church together - I know that will be a while but I really feel like God is and has been working miracles in your lives! We will continue to pray for you all.
In Christ,
Ron, Michelle, and Clara

(If you like Mexican food - there is a little hole in the wall place next to Johnny T Shirt on Franklin St. called Cosmic Cantina - they have the best burritos in the world! or at least I thought so when I was at UNC!)

Anonymous said...

My dear Betsy,
Just read your update and was impressed about your addiction comments. I stand amazed at how the LORD is using the many experiences that Ned is going through (that he will not remember)and allowing you and Travis to reap the golden nuggets of seeing
God at work and sharing them with a wide community!--And the wisdom to only increase your faith.
I to pray that this will be the last time little Ned will experiment with drugs except for medical purposes only. I ask the LORD to give me a verse that I could share with you. With the help of the Holy Spirit and my Bible Commentary I thought that this was perfect...
"But thank God that, although you used to be slaves to sin, you obeyed from the "heart" (quotes mine)that pattern you were entrusted to," Romans 6:17
So I am confident that God's Word holds true--that little Ned will not be a slave to anything but the teachings of his wonderful Momma and Daddy who will teach him the Way he should go.
Our love, God's Blessings,
Kay and Larry

kim said...

Dear Betsy and Travis, So sorry for what you are having to see Baby Ned go through, hopefully the doctors can give him something that can slowly wean him off the morophine with something in its place so he want go through this, and I know that you are going to never forget what he is going through, but at least he will not remember. I never knew until I had children and a grand-child, that when they hurt you feel their pain, and I know you and Travis have seen Baby Ned go through so much already, as far as giving advice, I wish I had some wise advice to give you, but reading your's and Travis messages, you are wise beyond your years. My prayer is that Baby Ned will not go through withdraws any more and slowly get used to another medicatin that can make him comfortable. He is so beautiful! We love you, "The Alexander's", Kim, Donald, Emily and Brock

Marcio said...

Betsy...I'm so sorry...I choked up when I thought about your little baby boy suffering through withdrawals and you having to watch it! Somethings are just beyond our control or what we would have done or planned for our kids. I know it makes you feel helpless at times. Something I used to pray for Luke when I thought he didn't understand or when I was afraid he would feel all alone is that somehow in someway The Lord would allow Luke to feel His supernatural presence and that it would calm him and give him peace beyond understanding and you know what? It happened just like that... each time he would settle down and rest in such peace. Once again...if we can do it in our own power, it's not grace...so we'll just be praying that God would pour out the amount of GRACE that Ned needs to come off of these meds. Take care!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Betsy

I am now just getting to check up on you guys. I am so gald ned is doing so well. God does have great things for him. I want you to know that yall are still in my prays daily keep me posted. my email is melissalovesmatt21@yahoo.com

love yall all so much

melissa gantt