Before I begin, I'll go ahead and apologize for the length of this post. I have just had so many things revealed to me this week and I feel like I have to share the things I am going to write today. I have been so grateful that as Ned's birth draws close, God has gathered me unto Himself to show me that He is soverign and in control. Such peace that has brought to my life.
Thursday night I was awake off and on all night just praying. I'm not sure if any of you ever check the links for the other CDH babies, but I knew that Baby Liviana should have made her debut into the world and I had her and her mother Amy on my mind. I was, of course, also praying for Ned's healing. While lying there, the Lord said, "Betsy, you pray for healing, but you aren't really expecting me to heal him." My response...."Oh yes I am!" But God said, "Betsy, you haven't packed one thing for the baby to take with you to the hospital. You don't even have your infant car seat in the car to bring him home. If you're expecting miracles, you're very unprepared for it". I love it when God calls me out with such honesty and boldness.
I have a wonderful lady in my life who is my Bible teacher. I immediately remembered something she had taught me this past summer. We were studying in Genesis 22 where Abraham was taking Isaac up on the mountain to sacrifice. As they were leaving to head up, Abraham told his servant to stay with the donkey, he and Isaac were going up to the mountain to worship and he said WE'LL be back. He expected God to provide a replacement....the ram in the thicket. He never thought that God wouldn't show up and pull through for him....that's what made his faith so admirable.
During that time, my teacher's husband was having some medical issues which prevented him from being able to plant his tomato garden. He had asked her to plant and tend the garden for him. She agreed, although she knew nothing of gardening. She prayed over the garden and asked God to help her in making in fruitful. She said when she first went out to the garden to pick the tomatoes, she didn't take a bucket. She assumed that there couldn't be more tomatoes than she could carry by hand, but as she started reaping God's harvest, she soon saw that He had supplied in abundance....That's His nature. She had to return to the house to get a bucket to bring in all God had given in response to her prayer. Her point then was that she went to God not expecting and that's how I had been taking my requests concerning Ned's healing. (Psalm 5:3: In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice, in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.)
So Friday, I got up and went to my final doctor's appointment. It went very well, in fact, Dr. Niblack said he looks great! I'm just so thankful that there haven't been any other major problems detected like with his heart or anything. Each bit of good news is a blessing. I then stopped in to pick-up Ned some little onesies. I know this will be the first actual clothing they'll allow him to wear in the hospital, yet I had none. I had gone to TJ Maxx so it was kinda hit-n- miss and I could only find one onesie for a boy. It was blue with thin white stripes and it says, "apple of my eye" on it. This spoke volumes to me because for Christmas, Travis and I had given our Bible teacher a gift and on it was written Psalm 17:8, " Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.".....it was PERFECT. Just a little glmpse of God to build my faith and give me assurance of His power.
Today, I sent Travis to locate our infant car seat so I would have a bucket in which to carry home my little miracle and I am spending the day washing up some blankets, my onesie, and some stuffed animals in that wonderful smelling baby washing detergent....now I'm expecting!
We will leave for Chapel Hill tomorrow to begin the induction tomorrow night for a scheduled delivery date on Monday. I am praying that not only will God reveal himself through Ned's healing and also that Travis and I will allow God to work through us in the situation to serve His purposes and plans of which we aren't even aware. The following verse has been my most heartfelt prayer this week:
"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death"